Fake etymology

From TheBestLinks.com

A fake etymology is an invented explanation (etymology) for the origin of a word. Many vulgar words in particular have been subject to such invented etymologies, most of which have very recent 20th century origins. Sometimes, these etymologies are then propagated through the culture by others, either because they were taken seriously by mistake, or simply because they enjoyed the joke and wanted to pass it along. In principle, fake etymologies, which are constructed in the knowledge that they are false, should be distinguished from folk etymologies, which are (presumably) coined in the mistaken belief that they are accurate. However, once either kind has gained currency, they are propagated in similar ways.

Examples

F.U.C.K (for fuck). This fake etymology suggests that the term "fuck" originated as an acronym, standing for "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge". According to this etymology, adulterers in medieval England would be charged with the crime of unlawful carnal knowledge. After a while the charge was shortened on the charge sheet to "F.U.C.K.", and so the term came to mean the act of adultery. There are a number of variations on this theme - the same acronym was posted on stocks where adulterers were publicly humiliated. Another variation suggests that F.U.C.K stands for "Fornication Under Consent of the King", supposedly posted on the doors of those permitted to reproduce at a time of medieval population control. These etymologies are clearly false: for one, acronyms were not widely used before the 20th century.

"Fuck you". There is also the one about the archers who had their middle fingers removed in medieval times to keep them from properly aiming their arrows; however; they would defiantly raise their mangled hands to the enemy and claim they could still "pluck yew". This one has some basis in fact - English longbow archers caught by the enemy at Agincourt would have their bow fingers amputated, since at that time the longbow was a devastating weapon, giving great advantage to the English. Unaffected archers would taunt the enemy by raising two fingers to show they were still intact - the "V-sign" survives to this day as an insulting gesture.

Pommy, an Australian slang term for a person of British descent or origin. The true origins of the term remain obscure, but a common fake etymology suggests that the term arises from the acronym P.O.M.E, for "Prisoner of Mother England", which term was supposedly used on documentation accompanying English convicts transported to Australia.

S.H.I.T. (for shit). This fake etymology suggests that the origin of the term "shit" traces back to the farming industry. Dried manure was transported via ship. Often times it would be stored in the lowest holds of the ship, the remoteness of these sections was ideal for concealing the smell. The wooden boats were prone to minor leakage. The manure would become damp and begin expelling methane. On occasion this methane buildup was set into an explosive charge by deck hands going into the holds with lit lanterns. Once it had finally been figured out what caused the accidents all manure packages going an board were required to be labelled "Store High In Transit" which was later abbreviated to S.H.I.T.

California from 'Cali', as in 'caliente, calor' -hot in Spanish, calories, etc. and 'fornia' as in fornicate. Thus California allegedly used to be called Tierra de la California, the land of hot sex.

The fake etymology for the word golf was that it was an acronym for Gentlemen Only; Ladies Forbidden. However, the word golf is over 500 years old. In the oldest Scottish writings, the word was spelled gouff, goiff, goffe, goff, gowff, and golph. The acronym cannot be formed with any of those spellings, and furthermore, the development of the acronym in the English language is mostly a 20th century phenomenon, perhaps as a backronym.

Asphalt – Leopold von Asphalt
Avocado – Jorge-Luis Avocado
Brassiere or Bra - Otto Titzling (this one propagated by the original edition of Trivial Pursuit and the movie Beaches)
Buffet – Pierre-Alphonse Buffet
Bugle – Hereward Bugle
Cabaret – Antoine de Cabaret
Comma – Domenico da Comma
Corset – Etienne Corset
Curry – Sir George Curry
Ketchup – Noah Ketchup
Lager beer – Gottfried Lager
Marmalade – Joao Marmalado
Posh – Port Out, Starboard Home
Salon – Marquise Henriette de Salon

Two that are true; however: the sandwich was named for the Earl of Sandwich, and the dessert the Napoleon for Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte of France.